


A System of Connections

by outofthedormroom



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: AU, Adoption, F/F, Foster Care, Foster Care AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-04-22 18:30:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4845866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outofthedormroom/pseuds/outofthedormroom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla can't really remember anything before she was placed in the foster care system. All her early childhood memories are blurry but she's does remember her first day in the group home and her first roommate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Memories

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea and was going to wait till I finish my other story but this just kinda poured out of me.
> 
> Tumblr: http://outofthedormintothefire.tumblr.com/

Carmilla’s earliest memory is getting dropped off at Dr. Cochrane’s house. She remembered being wet and cold but she wasn’t sure if it had been raining. Most of the day was a blur but she could clearly picture first meeting Dr. C; her joke of a social worker had taken her to her new bedroom. He commented that she was lucky because no other girls were staying at the home so she’d have her own room before heading out. Carmilla had been so small at age 4 but had an odd mature about her; the only mark of her age, beside the small frame, was the stuffed black cat she clenched to her chest. Dr. C had come in a minute after he left with a snack and to introduce herself. The older woman had been kind but Carmilla refused to look at her or take the food; she didn’t want a foster mom she just wanted her mother even if she wasn’t really around. 

“Dear, you must be very cold.” She said touching the sleeve of Carmilla’s soaked t-shirt. “Let’s get you into some fresh PJs; you’ve had a big day I bet you need a nap.” Dr. C went to the chest of drawers and pulled out clean but well wore princess PJs causing Carmilla to make a face. She lay them by Carmilla one the bed. “I’ll give you a minute to get changed, unless you need help?” Carmilla shook her head almost violently. Dr. C nodded. “Here let me take your teddy and put him in the dryer. He’ll come out nice and fluffy; already for a nice snuggle.” She reached to take the toy from Carmilla who jerked back crawling to the other side of the bed holding the cat even tighter.

“No you can’t take her, she’s mine! We look out for each other!” Carmilla spat out. The panic coursing through her is what must have imprinted the moment so clearly in her head. 

“It’s okay Carmilla! I’m not going to take her.” Dr. C cooed putting her hands up. “What’s her name?” 

“Mircalla, it’s my name all mixed up.” Carmilla whispered still not looking at her new caretaker. 

“That’s a very clever name; do you know what it’s called when you mix up letters to make a new word?” Carmilla shook her head. “An anagram.” 

For little Carmilla this wasn’t such a bad first memory.

The next event Carmilla can clearly remember is occurred nearly a year later when she got a roommate. A new foster kid was being placed under Dr. C’s care. Carmilla had gone a whole year without a roommate. There were two boys and two other girls at the house; Theo, Kirsch, Mel and Natalie but they were older all being 9 years old. Within the next few years they’d be sent to new homes since Dr. C really only fostered young kids that couldn’t get family placement and were up for adoption. Dr. C basically ran the world’s friendliest orphanage. 

 

Over her first year at Dr. C’s Carmilla had gotten use to having her own room. She need space for her and Mircalla to read but then tiny 4 and a half year Laura was placed into her room. When Laura’s social worker had brought her in he stay much longer then Carmilla’s had. He told her it would be alright and introduced her to Dr. C with extreme care. But the moment he left her big doe eyes filled with tears and she started to sob begging Dr. C to bring him back or take her back home. Dr. C try to clam her and explain she was at her new home which just made the tiny girl sob harder. Carmilla was annoyed by the whole exchange. After a half hour Dr. C told Laura she give her some space to cry and come back soon with a snack to help her settle in. Dr. C moved to Carmilla’s bed and told her to read in the living room instead for a few hours causing the girl to roll her eyes. She moved slowly from the bed closing the picture book and dragging Mircalla by the paw. Dr. C was standing in the door way giving Carmilla the ‘hurry it up’ look when Carmilla finally looked in her counter part in the eye. 

Carmilla was surprised that girl’s tear stained face didn’t further annoy her nor did she want to mock the girl for crying. Without even thinking she moved to the bed Laura was wailing on.

“Hey new girl.” Laura quieted her sobbing a bit. “This place is nice and Doc C’s real cool.” She then placed Mircalla next to Laura on the bed. “Mircalla will protect you until you feel better. I’m gonna need her back but you can borrow her for now until you’re like chilled out.” The flow of tears seemed to slow as Laura grabbed the stuff cat and turned towards the wall hugging it to her. Carmilla turned and saw Dr. C giving her a big smile. Once the door was closed the older woman touched Carmilla’s head.

“That’s very kind and brave of you to share with Laura. I’ve never seen you share Mircalla. I’m proud of you Carmilla.” The girl dart out of under Dr. C’s hand.

“Yeah whatever I didn’t want her crying all night.” 

“Carmilla,” an impossibly small voice called pulling Carmilla from her sleep. “are you awake?”

“I am now cupcake.” Carmilla mumbled. She rolled over and saw her new roommate at the edge of her bed. 

“Why are you calling me cupcake?” Laura asked making a face.

“You’ve been here for 5 days and it’s the only food you’ve eaten. I can’t believe Dr. C been letting eat like that.” 

“Oh” There was a silence between the girls.

“Cupcake; why did you wake me up?”

“I…” Laura cheek turned a bright red.

“Spit it out before I fall back asleep.”

“Can I borrow Mircalla? I know she’s yours and very special. Dr. C told me to really careful when you let me use her the first day and I was because she’s magic and chased all my bad dreams away! I keep having nightmares and I wanna sleep but I can’t without her.” Carmilla held her stuff toy considering Laura. 

“I need her to sleep.” Laura looked down sadly at the ground.

“Okay.” She turned trying to cover the sniffle that was a clear sign she was about to start crying. 

“Wait,” Carmilla said. “I have an idea; I’ll sleep against the wall and you can sleep on the side by the floor with Mircalla in the middle. We can each hold a paw then she can protect both of us.” Carmilla wasn’t sure why she’d offered this solution to Laura. She just didn’t want to see this girl cry. Laura flew into the bed. Jumping onto the mattress with an excited giggle. Each girl grabbing a paw and settling down to sleep with Mircalla chasing off the bad dreams.


	2. Adoption Opinions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the new 18 months or so.

“Carm, what should I wear at the adoption fair?” Laura asked. She was wearing adult t-shirt like a nightgown while staying over her bed where every item of clothing the child owns had been laid out. Carmilla rolled her eyes on her bed from behind her first ‘big kid’ book; no pictures.

“It doesn’t matter what you wear.” Carmilla answered flatly. Laura turned around with a concerned look in her eyes. The girls had been rooming together for months but Laura still wasn’t use to Carmilla’s ‘dark’ attitude. 

“Why not?” She asked in the smallest voice. Carmilla put her book down and swung herself so her legs hung off the bed and she was facing Laura. 

“I know you’re new so here’s the low down. Every 6 months there’s a big adoption fair where all the people who are thinking about adopting a kid come and meet kids who can be adopted cause our real parents aren’t allowed or won’t take us back.” Carmilla took in Laura’s paling face. “Cupcake I know it is awful but you gotta hear this. Anyways, no one wants us we’re 5, I’m nearly 6, people only want to adopt babies we’re too old.” 

“Carm; I’d adopt us! Don’t be so negative.” Laura interjected making Carmilla smile. Even though their personalities were fairly opposite Carmilla really enjoyed Laura’s company; no one other than Laura ever wanted to play with her.

“Well cupcake too bad we can’t be our own parents. We have a good deal though; Dr. C is nice and we’ll get to stay here till we’re ten before being spent to another home.” Laura’s eyes widen at this. 

“We’ll have to leave here?” She asked a small wobble in her voice.

“Yeah; remember Theo and Mel? After they turned ten they were taken to a big kid home cause Dr. C is like a specialist in early childhood whatever so she gets us when we’re little if we can’t be placed in a home-home. I heard my SW talking to her last time he checked on me.” Tears started to flow out of Laura’s eyes. “Why are you crying? It’s just the facts; anyways that’s a long time from now.” 

“You’re older! I’ll be all alone for months and then we might not be in the same home.” Laura was really crying now. 

“Laura, stop.” Carmilla’s heart was melting at the other girl’s concern. “It’s not worth worrying about yet. Plus there’s always that outside chance of getting adopted.” Carmilla finished adopting Laura’s optimism.

“What if we’re adopted together!” Laura said with a giggle her expression changing on the dime. 

The adoption was awful just as Carmilla had expected. There were about two dozen kids but only the four babies seemed to be getting any attention. Sure there was a lot for the kids to do; arts and crafts, games, and snacks to keep the kids distracted from the fact the prospective parents had no interest in them. Carmilla normally just read off to the side, she was deep into the my first reader edition of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but Laura kept dragging her to the table where the board games were set up. 

“Laura! I don’t wanna; I just want to read alone. I don’t like social stuff.” Carmilla muttered but Laura ignored her setting up Battle Ship.

“The games here are way better then the one’s at home. We have to take advantage of that! E4?” Carmilla glanced at her set up.

“Miss, F7.” The girls played a couples of rounds; Carmilla winning each time she had an odd talent for reading Laura. A middle aged couple came over to the girls. The woman was smallest with a few wrinkles and gray hairs dressed like a ‘fun’ librarian her counter part was a huge man with a warm smile. Even with his welcoming face Carmilla stiffen; she angle her body away looking like she was ready to dart off. 

“What are you girls playing?” The woman asked bending down to be at eye level with the children. 

“Battleship!” Laura answered excitedly. She chatted with the couple and Carmilla exited unnoticed as Laura captured the couple’s attention. Carmilla found a pillar in the center hosting the fair and sat behind it. She was able to escape other people’s watchful eyes and disappear into a book. 

Carmilla stayed hidden until the fair came to a close and Dr. C came and found her. Dr. C took Carmilla’s and guided her to the van with the other kids in her home. 

“Why were you hiding away? There are a lot of very nice people here.” Dr. C said in her ‘I’m a concerned adult’ voice.

“I don’t like people, especially grownups, but I like my books.” Carmilla said climbed in taking the seat next to Laura. 

“Where did you go?” Laura asked excitedly as Carmilla buckled herself in.

“I wanted some alone time.”

“The Hollises are so nice! They played slides and ladders with me but it would have been more fun if you had stayed.” Laura rambled on about the couple for the hold car ride and most of that evening and Carmilla just tuned her out. 

It turned out that Mr. and Miss. Hollis were the kind of people who wanted an older kid. They were bleeding hearts who really wanted to save ‘someone.’ The couple started visiting Laura a few times a week and Carmilla had withdrawn even more. One night after lights out Laura hopped onto Carmilla’s bed waking her up.

“What?” Carmilla said not opening her eyes.

“Grumpy I really need to talk to you.” Laura said petting the stuff toy curled under Carmilla’s arm. 

“Go on Cupcake.” Laura fiddle with the drawing stings of her PJ pants. 

“The Hollises wanna foster me and maybe even adopt me.” 

“Oh.” Carmilla said holding onto the toy even harder. Not matter how much Laura annoyed her she was her best, well only, friend. 

“If they get approved I’m going to move in with them in a few weeks.” 

“Good for you; Laura Hollis.” Carmilla said with a hint of distain in her voice.

“Carm…they promise once I moved that I can visit you every week and they can even take you out for the day on trips and things! So you can do stuff without all the other kids here.” Laura lay down and poke Carmilla on the nose. “I’m gonna miss you like crazy but the Hollis are good people and they want me; no one’s ever wanted me.” 

“I want you! I mean like what if my new roommate is even weirder then you. Devil you know.” Laura wrinkled her nose. 

“I’m not a devil!” Laura said combatively.

“Cupcake it’s just a saying. It means the unknown could be worse.” Carmilla said smugly; the child love to show off her smarts.

“We’ll be best friends forever right? I mean I’m gonna visit every week but you can’t replace me and you can’t share Mircalla with anyone but me. Promise?” Laura demanded offer the other girl her pinky who link them together.

“Promise.”

Three weeks after Laura had told her about being foster and possibly adopted; Carmilla sat and watch Laura packing up her side of the room. The Hollises were going to be there any second to take her home. There wasn’t too much to pack; a couple toys, a few outfits, and a Buffy the Vampire Slayer poster. Laura closed the suitcase that Mr. Hollis had dropped off the day before. 

“Anything I forgot?” Laura said twirling with excitement only stopping when she got a little dizzy.

“Besides me?” Carmilla half joked playing with the hole in her jeans.

“Carmmmm.” Carmilla looked at Laura, her only real friend in the world, about to leave the group home, and her, probably for good. 

“You forgot her.” Carmilla said weakly holding out Mircalla. 

“I can’t Carm, she’s yours.” Laura said very quietly; understanding, as well as a child could, what her friend was offering her. 

“I want you too; you’re going somewhere and if it isn’t safe she’ll protect you or if you get bounced to a new home she’ll keep you company. Plus, I’m 6 and a half now I can protect myself!” Laura took the stuff toy careful with wide eyes before looking at Carmilla and fling herself at the other girl. Giving her a crushing hug. Carmilla could feel tears along with the tickle of Laura’s honey blonde hair against her neck. 

“Come on Cupcake! You’re living the dream. New house, new toys, your own room, and parents.” 

“I wish you could come so badly!” Laura said pulling away using the stuff cat as a tissue to wipe her face. “I’m gonna give you something too; I mean I don’t have anything as special as Mircalla but,” Laura whirled back to the suitcase opening the front pocket. She pulled out a gold chain with a pendant. “I have this necklace from my grandma before she died. It’s a locket that has a picture of me as a baby. I was really giggle-y as a baby.” Carmilla hadn’t heard how the other girl had ended up on the group home before. No one must have been left to take care of her. Laura put the necklace over Carmilla’s head. The chain was very long for the short girl so the locket itself landed half way down her chest. Carmilla like the weight of the necklace and bite the inside of her cheek as tears started to form. 

“Don’t let them mess with you; not your new foster folks or any other kids.” Carmilla said turning away as a tear fell down her face. 

“I have to go downstairs. I miss you already.” Laura said touching Carmilla’s shoulder as she hid her face.


	3. Laura's New Life Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating all the stories today!

Carmilla had never felt so lonely. For someone barely six years old she had experienced a lot of loneliness; her annoying, overly emotional, tiny roommate had comforted her for a while but not she was gone. Laura had been gone a month and Carmilla figured she’s never see her friends, both Laura and Mircalla, again. Carmilla had even gotten a new roommate, Elsie, she was only three and had attached herself to Carmilla. The toddler refused to leave Carmilla be; she followed her around Dr. C’s house jumping on her and clinging to her. At first she thought the smaller girl’s affection were cute but that only lasted a few hours; now she found it beyond aggravating. 

She finally got a break when the Hollis filed a requested for an overnight stay. Carmilla was going to spend Friday and Saturday night at the Hollis’ house with Laura. Carmilla couldn’t wait see Laura and play with her, now Laura’s, favorite toy. The news of visit was the best news Laura had ever gotten. Dr. C had gotten her an overnight that she stuffed her PJs, coveted black jeans, and child size Ramones shirt into three days before the Hollis were scheduled to pick her up. The Hollises and Laura pulled up in a mini-van; Carmilla ran up to open the door but Miss. Hollis beat her to the punch by stepping out.

“Hey Carmilla! Laura’s very excited to see you; just wait a second while we get you a car seat.” 

“A car seat?” Carmilla asked confused, in her mind car seats were for babies and was a big kid, basically a grown up. 

“Yes, you aren’t old enough for the regular seat yet.” She said opening the trunk and pulling out a bright pink boaster seat; Carmilla was about to object when the van door flew open and Laura practically jump on her in an embrace. 

“Sorry it took me so long to get out I couldn’t figure out the car seat buckle.” Laura basically yelled in Carmilla’s ear with excitement. “I brought Mircalla too so she could ride in the car with us! And my friends Susan and Lola are coming over tonight and I just can’t wait for you to meet them!” Laura continued to ramble and seemed to have no intention of ending the hug. Carmilla could see the Hollises, Mr. Hollis had come out to help his wife install the second car seat, smiling at little Laura’s excitement. Like parents. Carmilla considered. 

\-------

The car ride was fairly uneventful. Carmilla wasn’t sure how Laura could have so much to say about her half day pre-school but she just kept talking. Mircalla had been placed on her lap after she had been buckled in. Carmilla rubbed her face against the stuffed toy. It smelt different but not in a bad way. She wasn’t sure if it was Laura’s presents or the familiar toy that made her feel so at peace.

“And that’s how I learned to make orange paint!” Laura finished excitedly. “How’s everything at Dr. C’s?”

“Same old, I have a new roommate but she’s really little.” Carmilla said petting Mircalla as if the toy were a real cat. 

“Not much of a talker Carmilla?” Mr. Hollis asked from the front.

“No,” Carmilla answered. Then an awkward silence fell over the car until Laura started going on about some book called Harry Potter and the something that the Hollises had been reading to her. 

\-----

Laura’s room was very Laura. For a kid the Hollises were just fostering they had sure pulled out all the stops to make her feel at home. The yellow bed spread to the tall bright blue books to the zebra lamp it just fit the girl well. 

“This is my room; it’s nice to have my own space but I do get really lonely without someone to talk to.” Laura said jump onto the bed. Carmilla stood awkwardly in the doorway not sure what to do. The Hollis household was nice, very nice, it was by far the biggest house Carmilla had ever seen let alone been in. 

“Dad, Mr. Hollis he said I could call him Dad if I wanted, set up the guess room for you if you want it but there’s also room in here just like when I’d get scared and make you share back at the home.” Carmilla grunted in reply there was a lot of…jealousy boiling up in her. She couldn’t believe Laura’s luck. She was sharing a room with a toddler and Laura got to live in a house with guess room with people who want her. 

“Carm, are you okay?” Laura’s voice was small.

“Yeah, just a little out of it.” 

“Wanna go outside? There’s a swing set!”

“Okay sure.” Carmilla tried to mask her discomfort. She felt like a dirty spoon in this perfect silver set of a life Laura had been given. It’s not that Carmilla wanted Laura to lose this life it’s that Carmilla wanted something better for the both of them. 

\-----

The swing set had been fun but tiring. Carmilla and Laura came inside after over an hour of pushing each other on the swings to find freshly baked cookies cooling next to the shove top. Laura went to go grab them some.

“Laura” Miss Hollis sang in sing song voice. “Not till after dinner.”

“Please ma! Carm’s never had your cookies and they’re the best in the world.” Miss. Hollis considered Laura’s plead and broke one cookie in half giving a piece to each of the girls. 

“Go wash up; dinner’s in half an hour when the rest of the girls get here.”

“Got it!” Laura said pulling Carmilla behind her and into another part of her new home.


	4. Laura's New Life Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sleep over continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back gang!
> 
> Tumblr - outofthedormroomintothefire

A Hollis family dinner was a strange experience for Carmilla. They all held hands and said grace then asked about each other’s days and interests. It was far from the normal scramble for food Carmilla had gotten use to at the home. Carmilla was traditional indifferent towards meal time but this was a rather pleasant way to enjoy a meal. 

After dinner Laura’s new, non-system, friends came over. Susan was an adventurous tomboy while Lola was a rater nervous who spoke more an overbearing social worker than a 6 year old. While playing house she made them do homework and clean, house was already Carmilla’s less favorite game Lola’s rules made them less fun. 

“Do you guys wanna watch a movie?” Laura asked sensing Carmilla felt out of place. “We have Disney! I love the little mermaid!” 

“I haven’t seen that one.” Carmilla said hoping the other two would be game for a movie.

“How have you not seen the Little Mermaid? It’s like a classic or something.” Susan asked. 

“I don’t really get to see movies.” Carmilla said awkwardly.

“Why not? Are your parents really strict?” Susan continued questioning.

“I don’t have parents.” Carmilla stated without making eye contact.

“How come you don’t have any?” Susan pressed.

“Susan! Stop, it’s like in Harry Potter.” Lola interjected. 

“Oh so you live with your aunt and uncle.”

“No I live in a foster group home.” 

“Oh like Laura use too!” Susan said clearly understanding.

“Have you ever lived new parents like Laura?” Carmilla felt tears prick in the back for her eyes she took a deep breathe. 

“Let’s watch the movie!” Laura said holding up the DVD. Susan and Lola turned excited towards Laura who led them into the TV room but Carmilla split into the bathroom and let a couple tears fall from her eyes. She heard what she assumed was the movie and knew she only had a few seconds before everyone came looking for her. Just as the thought crossed her mind there was a knock at the door.

“Carm? Are you okay? I just started the movie. The Hollis’s TV is really fancy.” Laura voice sounded small not in the way she sounded on her first night at the home but in a different way. There was a different kind of fear and worry in her voice. Carmilla didn’t answer but Laura opened the door anyways. 

“I’m sorry about Susan being pushy, she doesn’t understand. Lola doesn’t either. They’ve never met anyone like you.”

“Or you.”

“Or me.” Carmilla dropped down to sit against the bathtub. Laura sat crossed leg in front of her. “Next time it can just be me and you. I wanted you to meet my friends but it doesn’t matter cause you’re my best friend.” 

“Oh cupcake, you’re my best friend too but I don’t belong here, I don’t belong anyway. I don’t wanna mess this up for you. You could have a family and friends and your own room. This isn’t my world.”

“I want you in my world.” Laura said with a waver in her voice.

“I want you in mine but I don’t think I can, can you ask the Hollises to take me back to the home.” Carmilla couldn’t look at Laura. She scramble up trying to hide her own tears but she couldn’t cry silently like Carmilla. Her tears hurt Carmilla more than anything else but she felt she had to go. 

Laura came back a few minutes later with a cheerful Mr. Hollis.

“Hey there Carmilla! Laura says you wanna go home?” He asked.

“Yeah.”

“Alright, I’m gonna give Dr. C a call. Grab your stuff and we’ll head out in five.” 

Carmilla got up and headed to Laura’s room to collect her things. Carmilla saw Mircalla in its place of honor on Laura’s bed. She laid down holding to her chest. It smell like Laura and the home. It brought back the great few months they had shared there and now it was all over. 

“Carm, please don’t leave. It might be a few weeks or more until I can see you again. I can ask Susan and Lola to leave.” Laura said from her doorway. 

“I don’t wanna said cause I don’t like being sad and crying especially in front of people, even you.”

I was then that Mr. Hollis came in keys in hand. 

“Alright Carm! Let’s head out.” Carmilla grabbed her bag and followed Mr. Hollis out not looking at a very upset Laura.


	5. Adoption Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura's adoption but the Hollis family is finalized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates, one day!! I did a thing.
> 
> Tumblr - outofthedormroomintothefire

It had been nearly 6 months since Carmilla had spent the night at the Hollis’ house. 6 months since she has seen Laura which to a newly 6, and a half, year old is a life time. She had become more withdrawn only leaving her room for meals and at school she barely interacted with anyone. While she was doing well on her assignments her kindergarten teacher felt Carmilla’s anti-social behavior could be related to her not having a stable home environment. Dr. C had a number of talks with her but Carmilla was still uninspired to be social. 

She had recently gotten an invitation to Laura’s adoption day party. While she was happy for Laura her stomach was sick with jealous and sadness. Carmilla felt she was going to lose Laura forever. Carmilla had a selfish wish that the Hollis would change their minds and Laura would be back in the home and back in Carmilla’s life. Carmilla believed she couldn’t fit into Laura’s life and vice versa. She didn’t want to go to the party but Dr. C said she had too. The party was going to be fancy and Carmilla didn’t own anything fancy. 

The morning of the Party Carmilla laid out all of her clothes the way Laura nearly a year earlier before the adoption fair where she met her new parents. She ended up with a black sweater that was a little bit too big, leggings with a cat print, and red Mary Janes. Dr. C even talked her into having a big red bow. Mr. Hollis picked Carmilla up with Laura sitting in back bouncing up and down.

“Carmilla!” Laura cried excitedly “I’m so happy you’re here! I’ve missed you so so so so so so so so so…” 

“I get it cupcake.”

“To see you.” Laura finished.

“Carmilla do you need help with the car seat?” Mr. Hollis asked before closing the van door. 

“No, I got it.” Carmilla said buckling herself in. He closed the van door and got into the driver’s seat.

“Where’s Ms. Hollis?” Carmilla asked before Mr. Hollis got seated.

“My mom’s feeling really sick so she’s resting before the party. Carm, we went to the court yesterday and a judge, that’s a powerful person who wears a robe, made me their daughter like that.” She snapped her fingers for effect. 

“Now Laura,” Mr. Hollis started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. “It isn’t that easy, the judge visit was the easiest part.” 

“Oh Carm, it was so cool and I have a new name now too; I’m officially Laura Hollis.”

“That’s great Laura. I’ll really happy for you.” Carmilla said looking out the window. 

“I’m so so glad you’re here. It’s been way too long! I want to see you more.” Carmilla tuned out Laura’s cheerful rambles and watched the trees go by. Minutes past and Carmilla didn’t have anything to say. She wasn’t uncomfortable per se but out of place. Laura follow foster kid made her feel safe but Laura Hollis was someone new. 

“Carm? Earth to Carm?” Laura had lean far over to poke at Carmilla from her car seat. 

“Oh sorry Hollis, got a little lost in my head.” Carmilla noticed Laura huge grin after calling her Hollis as well as the smile on Mr. Hollis face. Carmilla realized why she felt so disconnected from Laura now. That share identity of being a foster kid was gone without that Laura was just some little kid. She was almost a year old then her. They had nothing in common anymore. That broke Carmilla’s heart. 

The car reached the Hollis house and it was decorated beyond imagination. There were bright color streamers, balloons, and Laura’s name, new name, spray painted into the grass. It was beautiful. There were a lot of kids; Laura’s new cousins and classmates all dressed to the nines. Carmilla became very self-conscious of her wore out too large sweater and tacky leggings she’d been so happy with that morning. 

She spotted Lola, wearing a beautiful pastel dress, and Susan, in dress shirt, bowtie, and vest, looking perfect. Carmilla hoped that the pair wouldn’t remember her embarrassing exit from their last meeting. Carmilla put on a happy face and got herself out of the car as Mr. Hollis helped Laura out of her car seat then pick her for a piggy back ride. Carmilla giggled as her new dad carried her towards with party with Carmilla lagging behind. He swung Laura to the ground in front of Lola and Susan. 

“Alright girls! Go back and play.” Susan made a face but was soon smile at the promise of cake and make believe games. Carmilla followed a few paces behind the others. There was a huge blown up photo of Laura holding a sign the say “In foster care for 912 days and today I am adopted” with a her parents and a man in a robe, must be the judge Carmilla thought. 

There was a massive princess themed tree house that Laura wave Carmilla towards. She followed Laura, Lola, and Susan into the over the top tree house. The group settle down, there were dozens of toys, coloring books, and puzzles. Laura took out a puzzle and the group got to work. Carmilla wasn’t very proactive in helping with the puzzle, she handed pieces when asked but didn’t really spoke up as the unicorn picture started to take form. 

“How’s school going Carmilla?” Lola asked trying to draw her into the conversation.

“It’s alright. I don’t really like it but my grades are good.”

“Why don’t you like?” Lola pressed.

“I don’t really like anyone in my class.” Carmilla offered completing a line of the puzzle. 

“Hey kids! Come down we’re about to cut the cake!” Came a weak voice from below the tree house. It sounded like Ms. Hollis but Carmilla wasn’t sure. Laura bounded down the ladder and the rest followed a few minutes later. 

Carmilla was took in Laura sitting on her dad’s lap and she saw Ms. Hollis who did not look good. She looked very thin, there were bags under her eyes, and her hair seemed to be falling out.

“What’s wrong with Laura’s mom?” Carmilla mutter towards Susan.

“She’s really sick, I heard my parents talking and they said she has cancer.” Susan answered

“What’s cancer?”

“It’s like bad stuff that grows in your body. It makes you sick.” Susan answered as Ms. Hollis cut the generous slice of cake for Laura. She playfully put icing on Laura’s nose. 

“Is she gonna get better?” Carmilla asked watching Laura joyfully eat cake with her new family.

“My mom said she doesn’t think so.” It was then that all the kids were asked to line up to get their own slice of cake.


	6. Life is Filled With Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> POV change to Laura for the next few chapters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back to writing, at least I'm trying to be back. My life has been nutty, in good and bad ways, but these stories and this fandom are really at my core. I know I'm a pretty meh writer but the love of the Creampuffs makes me want to write and be creative.

“Laura Hollis” Laura hummed the name to herself over and over again as she lay in her bed. It had been 8 months since she’d be formally adopted but she was still getting use to her new last name…and life. She had gone from sharing a room with her best friend in a small house full of children and a kindly social worker now she was an only child in huge house. Her parents love her and she loves them but Laura was waiting for it to all go wrong. The 7 year old was use to things going wrong, there had been an unfair amount of upheaval in her life. 

“Laura dinner’s ready.” Mr. Hollis, her dad, called from down stairs. Laura hopped off the bed and away from her negative memories. Her dad had created a huge Italian style dinner and on her plate was a massive cookie. 

“Ok bug here’s the deal. You can either start the meal with the cookie but you have to promise to eat two scoops of salad or you can have the cookie after the meal and only have one salad scoop.” Laura giggled.

“Dad that doesn’t make sense. If I have it later there’ll be less gross greens and I’ll still have all the cookie. I’ll wait for it!”

“Too smart for me kiddo. Let’s try and finish up in like half an hour so we can go see mommy before visitor hours are over.” Laura nodded serving herself the smallest amount of salad that could considered a scoop.

“How is she?” Laura said focused more on moving her folk around the plate then her father. 

“Not great but she’s very excited to see you and the art you made in school. Seeing you is the best part of her day. She loves you a ton you know that right?” 

“Yes” 

“We love you so much, so much that maybe Mom will let you have an extra cookie while you visit.” Laura smiled at her dad brightly. She wiggled her loose tooth causing him to grin. 

****

Hospitals smell weird. It wasn’t a bad smell but it wasn’t one Laura liked. She did like seeing her mom even if she seemed more like tubes then parent. After getting into the room her dad lifted her onto the bed. Her mother weakly brushed some of her hair out of her face.

“Laura! How are you?” She asked.

“I’m good. Dad made salad, meatballs, and let me have a cookie as big as my head.” 

“It wasn’t that big.” Her dad said pulling up a chair and taking a seat. “It was big enough for this little sugar addicted but not so big to ruin her balanced diet.” 

“Well that’s good to hear. Daddy says you brought some art from school to show me.” Laura pulled a bunch of loose papers from her Harry Potter backpack.

“This one is you, me and dad! But we live on Mars instead of on earth. That’s why the ground is all red and dusty.” Laura held up the photo with brightly colored stick figures. 

“Now that is very creative. What else did you make?” Her mom asked handing off the space drawing to her dad.

“This one is me, you, dad, Susan, Lola, and Carmilla going camping but the tent is a castle. It’s my favorite!” She proudly displayed the photo.

“While that’s lovely!”

“When you get better can we all go camping? All my friends go and we can bring Carm! I miss her so much. I haven’t seen her since my party. I feel bad because I promised we’d see each other every week.” Her parents exchanged concerned looks. 

“Laura-bug I know you want to go on crazy adventures but that won’t happen for a bit.” Her dad said.

“Well we can just bring Carmilla since she’s still at Dr. C’s and no one else can bring her. Susan and Lola family go every year already.” Laura rambled on about the magical camping trip where the Hollises and Carmilla would catch mermaids and befriend werewolves until her father interjected. 

“Hey Laura here’s a few bucks. Run to the vending machine and get us a few snacks.”

“Anything I want?” 

“Anything!” Laura hurried out of room to get as much chocolate and grape soda as 3 dollars can buy.   
After making the difficult choice between snickers and mars bars Laura made her way back to the room. She heard her parents worried voices when she reached the door. Laura stopped at the door and listened.

“You, we, should tell her.” Her mom said.

“She’s lost so much already. Do we really want to add to it?”

“She’s going to lose more and soon.” Her mom sounded really sad.

“You have time and things could turn around.” Her dad sounded desperate.

“Mark, this is happening and I’m going to be gone soon. Laura should be ready; as ready as a 7 year old can be.” Laura crushed the candy bar in her hand. Her mom was going to be gone where was she going? Where would she go?

“I’m scared to do this alone. I mean when we adopted her and you were newly diagnosed there was hope, more hope, and we were a team.” Her dad was crying and Laura’s eyes were welling up. She didn’t want to lose her family just after getting one. They didn’t want her anymore.

“Oh Mark. We’ll still be a team, I’ll just be a little harder to reach.” Her dad let out a choked laugh. “We have a kid, a great kid, and we’re a great family even if we didn’t have much time together. I have a few more weeks and we’ll make them really great weeks; we’ll create memories for a lifetime while we can.” Her mom paused. “I know you don’t like it but stopping treatment will let me be a wife and a parent not just another sick cancer patient. Staying here will give me only a few more weeks, maybe, and that’s a weak maybe. Those weeks I’ll be drugged up and not myself. If   
I’m home I’m me. Let’s take this next month or so and be a happy family.” Her dad was crying, hard. 

“I’m scared to do this alone.” 

“I’m not scared for you. You’re a great parent, even if you let her have too much junk food. You’ll protect her, teach her about the world, give her a life, and the love she needs.” Laura didn’t know what to do. She had heard too much and wasn’t sure if she could come into the room. She wanted to run but she didn’t have anywhere to go. 

Laura dropped the candy bar and can of soda and ran down the hall. She found an empty stairwell and tucked herself into a corner. Laura made herself as small as possible and couldn’t get her breathing under control. She had no idea how long it had been but thoughts of grandmother were at the front of her mind. The memories were blurry but she remembered being loved and losing that love. She was crying; she knew she was crying but it didn’t seem real. She didn’t feel real. 

Heavy footsteps approached her but Laura didn’t look at the owner of the feet. It felt like a bad dream. 

“Now something tells me you’re Laura.” Laura wouldn’t tucked her into knees and hugged her legs closer. “Hey kiddo, your parents are worried. Would it be ok if I pick you up?” The person was very kind but Laura couldn’t react; she wanted to be comforted but she didn’t want to reach out for this kind stranger; she’d be another person who would leave.   
She heard the crackle of a radio and the kind voice spoke into it, alert whoever was on the other end that the missing kid was located. 

“So here’s the deal Laura, I’m Dr. Kelly. I’ll hang out here with you until you feel like going back to your parents. You can talk if you want or we can play a game.” 

“Do you like Harry Potter? My dad is reading the third one to me.” Laura whisper.

“While that’s lovely. I haven’t read the books. Who’s your favorite character?” Dr. Kelly touched her hair gently. Laura relaxed a bit.

“I like Hermione, she’s smart and always tries to do the right thing.” Laura said looking up over her knees just a little. 

“That’s makes her a good role model. You know I bet your dad would read you some more of the book if you go back to your mom’s room.”

“But the book is in my room at home.” 

“The book definitely won’t approach in this stairwell.” Laura giggled a little.

“I don’t want them to be mad at me for ru…getting lost.” Laura settle on the lie because she didn’t want anyone to know she was scared.

“Well this is a big place, I work where and get turned around every now and then. I think they’ll be very happy you’re safe.” 

“Ok” Laura got up; so did Dr. Kelly. She took Laura’s hand and guided her back up to her parents. They were overjoyed to see Laura was safe and hadn’t been carried off by a bear or something. Dr. Kelly left before she was out of view Laura watched her bend down to pick up a crushed candy bar and can of soda. 

***

Laura’s mom left the hospital two days later. Her parents told her that day they were going on a road trip to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Florida, they had considered Disney Land but felt Laura would enjoy the other park more. It took them nearly 5 days to drive all the way there. They listened to the Potter audiobooks the whole way down. 

Laura and her parents created memories for years of family trips that missed because Laura was in the system. During the long hours on the road all the doubts Laura had about being a Hollis and a daughter slowly disappeared. Even when her mom told her she was going to die soon her fear and grief was about losing her mother but she knew she wasn’t losing her family.   
A few weeks after they came back home her mom passed on in her sleep. Her dad told her she’d gone to meet Laura’s biological mother and grandmother. Laura wished they could all be together.


	7. Moving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura's life is changing again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's a fairly short update to move the story along. It's kinda dark but has a happy-ish ending. Time jump again.  
> TW: Panic attack

Laura looked at the stuffed black cat like a priceless treasurer. She put the cat in the ‘keep’ box and went back to packing. A moving truck was coming in the morning and taking Laura and her Dad not just across the country but out of it. They were going from Toronto to Los Angeles; a dramatic change Laura wasn’t looking forward too. She’d miss her friends once they left, she liked her school, and this house was the only place Laura had had a mother. 

Now she was leaving; in retrospect it had been a hard year for her dad. He had lost his wife and had become a single father of a nearly 8 year old girl. He was trying but Laura felt alone most of the time. He needed a change of scenery more, more like a restart but Laura had spent her whole life having other people hit restart for her. All Laura wanted was a stable life and everything seems to get jerked around. That was clear in the stuff she owned everything was fairly new and nothing represent her early years. There were few items she was even attached too and wanted to pack. When she was a toddler it had been a kindly but elderly grandmother, dead, then the group home, Carmilla was a fading but warm memory, being foster, then adopted, sick mom, dead mom, and now America. 

She wondered what Carmilla’s life was like. It had been well over 2 years since her adoption party when they had last seen each other. Laura still thought of Carmilla as her best friend and she suddenly had felt an overwhelming amount of guilt. She’d promised they see each other every week and talk all the time but she could count on her hand the amount of time they had seen each other. Her body started to convulse without Laura telling it too. She slumped on the ground curling her knees into her chest and began to sob. 

Laura felt like the world was falling in around her. Half remembered flashes of yelling, too much sound, or totally darkness hit her over and over again. The guilt had trigger feelings she hadn’t let herself experience. All Laura wanted was Carmilla or her mom or just a stable life; the rush of negative feelings was beyond confusing. Her freak out must have been really loud because the gentle hand of her father on the back of her neck. There was a calming effect from the contact and Laura stopped shaking but there was no stopping the flow of tears. 

“L what’s wrong? Is everything okay? You can pack as much stuff as you want; there’s no limit.” Her dad said rubbing her back. 

“Please give…me Mircalla.” Laura choked out. Her dad quickly took out the stuffed cat from its box and handed it over. Laura wrapped herself around the toy. “I’m a bad person. She gave me her and I couldn’t stay her friend.” 

“Laura-bug what are you talking about? You’re a wonderful person and my angel. I’m sure whomever you may have upset they’ll forgive you.” Laura pushed her face into the cat. “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Carmilla, I haven’t seen her in so long and I stopped being her friend, I didn’t want to stop and now I’m never going to see her again.” 

“Well how do you know that?” Her dad asked rubbing her back again. 

“She’ll never forgive me. She gave me Mircalla and I stopped being her friend.” 

“Laura, it’s a sad fact of life that sometimes we lose the people who matter the most. Some, like you mom and biological grandma, pass on and others life takes us away from because of things you can’t control. Your mom got sick, so I didn’t have time to take you to see Carmilla who was far away. I know it’s hard and unfair but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or that you’ll never see her again.”

“When will I see her? We’re going to another country tomorrow and I don’t know if she’s in the same place! She could have been adopted and I’ll never know!” Laura was getting angry but she wasn’t sure at who, maybe the universe. 

“I have an idea; let’s push pause on packing. We can go to the store and get whatever card you think Carmilla would like the best. Then you can write to Carmilla and give her your new address; we’ll include all the postage she’ll need to answer you. You girls can be pen pals.” Laura looks up from the stuffed toy.

“What if she doesn’t write back? Or doesn’t get the letter?” Laura asked in a tiny voice.

“Well, it’s” Her dad check his watch. “Just before dinner time; I’ll call Dr. C and make sure she still lives there. Stay here and take deep breathes. I’ll get her address either way; just calm down and think about what you want to write about in your card.” He stood up and steps outside her room and Laura petted the toy like it were a real cat. Laura thought about the past two years and what she could fit in her card. She settled she’d said sorry for not being a good friend and ask Carmilla if she had read Harry Potter and if she had what house was she in. Laura though she’d be a Ravenclaw. 

When she dad came back in with the good news that Carmilla was still in the same home. Laura’s dad carried her to the car and took her to the nearest shop. Laura picked out an extra-large card over in cartoon cookies. Once she got home she filled out the card while her dad finished packing up her room. Laura took the card to the mail box and hoped Carmilla would write back soon.


	8. An Exchange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story is starting to move a bit, next chapter will be a major time jump.

“Carmilla you have mail.” Elsie dirty 6 year old hand waved a card at her from their shared doorway breaking her focus from 1984, a book she didn’t really understand but made her feel smart. Carmilla couldn’t believe she didn’t have her own room or a roommate her own age. 

“It’s junk mail. No one would write to me.” Carmilla never got mail from anyone besides her social worker and that was only on her birthday. Carmilla was use to the fact there was no one in the world that legitimately cared for her. She didn’t let herself make friends anymore because they would all leave.

“It has your name on it! It’s America. Who do you know in America?” Elsie continued.

“No one, it’s junk.” Carmilla returned to her book.

“Not no one! Laura Holl-is.” Carmilla eyes snapped back to the card; even with Elsie dramatic mispronunciation she recognized the name. It had been two years since she had heard that name but it was one she thought about a lot. Carmilla supposed most other children forgot friends once they exited their life and just made new ones; that seem to be natural for normal children. But she wasn’t normal, she was alone. Still Carmilla felt joy for the first time in a long time knowing her old friend was reaching out to her. Carmilla hopped off the bed and took the card. “Hey that wasn’t nice! I was going to hand it to you.” Said an annoyed Elsie. 

“Whatever mini mouse.” Carmilla flopped back onto her bed and carefully opened the card, not wanting to damage the envelope, as Elsie wondered out of the doorway. The card had a cartoon chocolate chip cookie with humanized features, it screamed Laura. Once she opened the card a few stamps fell out but Carmilla read the message first before collecting them from the ground.  
Hey Carm!!!!  
I miss you so much. I wanted to say I’m sorry I’ve been a bad friend. My mom was sick so my dad was distracted and it kept me from being the friend I should be. Anyways me and my dad are moving to America! Which means we can’t see each other in person but we can be pen pals. I hope you can forgive me and want to be friends again.  
So my dad has been reading me the Harry Potter books! I really like them! Have you read them? I bet you have being all smart and you like…  
The card was filled so Carmilla flipped it over to view the back.  
I’d be a Hufflepuff. I think you’re a Ravenclaw! What do you think?   
Write back soon! My dad gave me stamps to send you and our new address is on the envelope.   
All the best,  
Laura H.  
P.S. Mircalla likes America!

This was the greatest thing that had ever happen in Carmilla’s life. Laura hadn’t forgotten her, she’d just been distracted. Carmilla wondered what happened to her mom but she was too excited to write back to give it that much thought. She found a pen and white sheet of paper. Carmilla had no idea what to write. Nothing had happen the past few years Carmilla felt like reporting. She had gone to school; she did well in every subject besides being social. Kirsch, Mel, and Theo had all aged out and into the teen home. There were a bunch of new kids but Carmilla would only interact with them at meal times. Her social worker had taken her to therapy on and off for the past few years but Carmilla normally just shut down during her sessions. She reads a lot and Laura had written about a book she liked so that would be the topic of her first letter. 

Dearest Laura,  
I’m glad to hear from you. I have missed you greatly and am excited to be pen pals. I am sorry to hear about your mother’s illness and hope the move is going well. I hope you like America, your address says California which is really cool. I’m still at Dr. C’s. No adoption or fostering for me, so I’ll be here till I’m 13 and get moved to the teen home.  
I have read Harry Potter but it isn’t really my thing. I like the classics more. I’d be a ravenclaw for sure.  
My regards,  
Carmilla K.  
P.S. I’ wearing the necklace.

Carmilla knew the letter was a little empty, empty of the feelings of lost, betrayal, and loneliness. Still she was excited to regain her best friend, even if it is merely an exchange of letters. 

She found an envelope and popped the letter in the mail box before dinner.  
**  
Laura was liking being a California girl. She loved having easy access to the beach and her dad, after much debate, had agreed to sign her up for surfing classes. She even had a new best friend Danny Lawrence. She was crazy tall! They had met in Karate class. Danny was taking it for fun while Laura’s dad had demand she go ‘for her own safety.’ They had hit it off and it turns out they were going to the same school. They were both going to be in 4th grade in the fall. Laura was a little fixated on Danny but her dad was happy she was adjusting was easily. 

One thing really helped; she and Carmilla were exchanging letters fairly regularly. In fact Carmilla’s first letter was waiting for her when they moved in. She got a new letter every two weeks or so. Laura would then spend hours crafting a perfect response. For Laura the letter symbolized her old life and kept her anchor to her past. For Laura this move was about recreating herself but growing from whom she was.


	9. Life is Fast Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of filler, a little bit of fluff, jut moves the story along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is version 2 of this chapter seeing as my laptop crapped out. I brought a new one, which I paid for myself like an adult.

13-year-old Laura Hollis was becoming the kind of young lady you didn’t say no too. She had become extremely driven and always went after what she wanted; right now Laura wants to be editor and chief of the middle school newspaper. Laura was sure this was the first step of the rest of her life. As she explained to Danny…

“If I’m the middle school editor, then I’ll be the high school editor, then college, then I’ll be the youngest editor and chief of the LA Times.” Laura rattled off turning away from the ocean to face Danny who was leaning on the railing. She Danny had started hanging out at the Santa Monica pier after school. It had taken a lot of convincing to get Laura’s dad to agree but he realized how much that freedom meant to Laura. 

“Please don’t be disappointed if you don’t get it. Bobby is campaigning really hard for the position. There’s always a chance Ms. Roman will pick him. Plus if you get it over him you’ll put a target on your back.” Danny warned rolling on her feet to look even further over the edge. 

“Bobby is a bully. He only wants to be editor and chief to mess with me.”

“I think he has a crush on you.” Danny said seemingly oddly focused on the wood supporting her arms. As Laura made a face Danny traced her finger along the grain.

“Oh god not only is he mean, he’s gross. There’s nothing about him I like.” Laura groaned. 

“Well who do you have a crush on?” Danny asked. Laura felt cornered because she didn’t have a crush on anyone. Well she wasn’t sure if that was true. She thinks she might have a crush on her pen pal but Laura wasn’t sure. She was 13 she didn’t have to know but she did have to be editor and chief.

“I don’t have crushes. I have goals.” Laura stated.

“You should like a Tina Fey character.” Danny retorted causing a dramatic eye roll on Laura’s part. Danny turned her head towards Laura.

“Whatever Danny. I have other…” Before Laura could finish deflecting Danny head move towards her and their lips smashed into each other. At first Danny’s lips seemed to moving more along her chin then lips before she readjusted herself. Laura wasn’t sure what to do, she’d never kissed anyone boy or girl. She thought about it, more on the girl end, but she didn’t think it would happen, especially not with her best friend. Her cute best friend if she really considered it. It wasn’t bad, Laura didn’t have any negative feelings about it but it was strange. Danny was basically licking her lips. Laura opened her month intending to exit the situation which allowed Danny’s tongue into her month. Oh. This is why people liked kissing. Laura could definitely see this as a future hobby. 

“Woo you go queens.” Whistled a loud voice. The girls pulled apart, Laura turned a deep pink while Danny searched for the now missing voice. It was likely someone speaking to a friend not yelling at the teens. 

“I’m sorry.” Danny started “I shouldn’t have…it’s just…sometimes I can’t…look I like girls while girl…but I should have asked you and…” This time Laura took action. She rolled upward on the balls of her feet to connect their lips.  
\------  
Carmilla log ono the house desktop. She had maybe an hour before one of the other half dozen kids demanded their turn. Carmilla watched the ‘online friends’ section waiting for Laura to come online. She should be starting her homework soon since it was 90 minutes before lights out at the house. When ‘FutureLoisLane’ pop up Carmilla fired off a message.  
Blackcat124: Hey  
FutureLoisLane: Hi! So I have news.  
Blackcat124: So do I. You first.  
FutureLoisLane: I got my first kiss…and it was a girl.   
Blackcat124: Good for you.  
Carmilla tried to crush the sudden rush of anger she felt knowing someone else had kissed Laura. Carmilla had long ago come to terms with the fact that she was gay and undoubtedly in love her long term pen pal and former roommate, as much as any soon to be high school freshman could be.   
Blackcat124: and the girl thing is whatever. We’re pretty progressive up here in America’s hat or have you forgotten and become a super-sized me gun nut.   
FutureLoisLane: LOL Carm you really know how to maintain a friendship. Anyhow what’s your news?  
Blackcat124: When the term ends next month I’m being moved into the teen house; so if you want to send me letters I’ll have a new address. I included it in the congrats card I sent today.  
FutureLoisLane: Congrats for what?  
Blackcat124: For getting editor and chief.  
FutureLoisLane: I haven’t gotten it yet…  
Blackcat124: But you will.  
FutureLoisLane: are you ok with the move?  
Blackcat124: does it matter? I mean I don’t have a choice I’m 14. It’s shocking they let me stay this long. I turned 14 liked 3 months ago. I’m here till I finish term in a few weeks then I get moved.  
FutureLoisLane: what if you get a foster placement?  
Blackcat124: now that LOL as the kids say.  
FutureLoisLane: your less than a year older than me.  
Blackcat124: But I am a grade above  
FutureLoisLane: *rolls eyes* whatever Carm. I have a medium mountain of homework. I’ll tell you all about Danny in my next letter.   
Oh. It had been Danny, tall overly protective IRL friend.   
Blackcat124: No worries cupcake. I’ll ttyl.


	10. Life Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Laura entered their teenage years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back. Hopefully anyways. I've been battling depression and self harm hard plus I finished school and started working. It's been a minute since I've written fic and I felt a lot of joy writing again so I hope it becomes a habit.

‘God this is depressing.’ Carmilla thought to herself. The school term had ended and she had been moved to a group home in Saskatchewan, ‘bum fuck nowhere,’ and it was grim. There were two wooden bed frames with plastic mattresses with barely three feet between the beds, under the bed were 4 drawers, and two desk that seemed more for a 7-year-old then a teen. Carmilla hopped onto the bed that wasn’t made up and busied herself with nothing. 

“So you’re the new girl?” Carmilla glanced at the door and saw a tall girl, perfect hair, cold intelligent eyes, and extremely well dressed for a system kid. Carmilla was instantly intimidated and interested by her. “You see my last roommate aged out and I was looking forward into turning this” She gestured at the room “into a single. Now Mother, every so concerned with the amount of government aid she is sent couldn’t have that. So let’s make a deal; let’s treat each of our half room as a single. Keep your side yours and don’t try to move into my space.” The girl finished and gave Carmilla a pointed look.

“Carmilla; it’s charming to meet you…”

“Mattie.” Mattie moved into the room and sat on her bed; sizing up Carmilla the whole way. Carmilla was doing it too. 

“How long have you been in the system” 

“Since I was little” Carmilla responded.

“I’m rounding my third year and second with dear mama. Have you had the pleasure?” Mattie eyes changed, there was a warning in them.

“No; my social dumped me and ran. I’m assuming whoever is now my guardian will roll up at some point.”

“Lillian, prefers mother or mama, she is…a curious person. If Mother likes you it is like the universe is centered in you. Nothing can out shine you if you’re one of mother’s glittering girls.” 

“And if she doesn’t like you?” Carmilla asked in a cool tone hoping it masked her concern.

“Then your life will be a nightmare until you age out. Mother uses kindness sparingly and for her own gain. You’re smart, play her game and you will be fine; make it out with only a scars. Hell, they may only be mental ones too.”  
….  
“Children sit.” Carmilla watched as six other kids quickly and silently took a seat. She noted that Mattie took a seat directly across from Mother. 

“Carmilla, dear, it beside me so we can get to know each other more.” Carmilla slouched her way into the chair just to the right of mother. “now darling,” Carmilla heard a cold edge in her voice. “that is no way for a young woman to sit.” Carmilla rolled her shoulders back and straighten up. “Now isn’t that better.” The table was set, the food was laid out, but no one was eating; no one had even had a sip of water. 

“Now since Carmilla has just joined us will someone please inform her of the meal rules… Jackie.” A scared, thin girl with dirty blonde hair stood up and Carmilla couldn’t help but notice the slight shake of her knees. 

“Meals are meant to be shared as a family. They cannot begin until all are present, seated, and have prayed. We must eat in a formal way to ensure all enjoy the meal. Food must be shared equally with all unless a child is being punished and have had food privileges removed.” Jackie finished and look towards mother for approval. 

“And?” The word from mother hung in the air. Jackie looked toward mother, scared, and then at Mattie who nodded.

“The meal ends the way it begins as a family. The meal is finished when we are all done and no one can leave the table till then.” Jackie looked toward mother for confirmation.

“I’m glad you could recall the rules even if it requires prompting. No sweets tonight; hopefully you can develop a mastery of the rules. Now let’s said grace.” After a short pray Jackie and a boy named Will passed out the food. Everyone ate in near total silence.

“Now Carmilla you are new so you are in a grace period. You don’t know the rules but you have a week or so to learn them. They will be your first task in school.” Mother told her.

“School? Why are house rules something I’d learn in school?” Carmilla questioned making eye contact with mother for the first time.

“I am sorry your social worker did not tell you. This group home is very unique because it functions as a school and a resident. It is an extraordinary undertaking; I can act as care taker and teacher. I am ensuring children raised in the foster system can exit the system as functioning members of society.” Mother said with a sense of pride.

“Well that’s different. When do we leave the house?” Carmilla asked.

“When it is needed.” Carmilla could tell the conversation had ended. 

“Is there a computer I can use?” Carmilla changed the topic. 

“Well there is a house computer but it is only for science course I am not qualified to teach. The internet is the home to many impure things so I would rather my charges not use it. Why?” The question felt very loaded.

“I have a pen pal; a friend from my old group home. We mainly IM now but we use to write lots of letters.” Carmilla pushed food from one end of the plate to the other. 

“Darling, don’t play with your food.” The command stopped Carmilla. She carefully took another bite. “I am happy to hear you practiced the dying art of letter writing but I think that is a privilege that needs to be earned and only under supervision. Prove to me you are a good child and I will show you how good children are rewarded.” 

“Seems fair…mother.”  
\---  
Laura was finishing middle school on a high note…something extremely rare. She was youngest editor and chef for the middle school paper ever! She was doing well in all her classes and had been placed on the honors track for high school. Plus her dad was totally fine with Danny taking her to 8th grade prom. He even gave her the same vaguely threatening talked he would have given a boy. 

The only thing missing was her best friend. Since Carmilla had been transferred to the new group home she barely heard from her. Carmilla had explain internet access was very limited at her new home and she didn’t have money for stamps. Laura had offered to end Carmilla stamps but she wouldn’t give Laura her address. It felt wrong; not just missing Carmilla but Carmilla’s new life, what little she knew of it, felt strange. 

“Why do you always check your IM?” Danny asked from Laura’s bed as she checked her messages on the desktop on the other side of her room.

“I’m checking to see if Carmilla messaged me.” Laura answered clicking around.

“She hasn’t messaged you in forever. I’m sorry but you have other friends. It sucks to see you upset.” Danny said looking worried.

“I know but I miss her. I mean we grew up together.” Laura said; not turning to look at Danny.

“But she is so far away and she isn’t trying to be your friend.” Danny was making sense but Laura couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong and Carmilla needed help.


End file.
